31st December 2021
So, that’s another year that’s come and flown past me, whilst I’m still trying to process 2019, let alone acknowledge the fact that it’s now almost 2022. It feels like I haven’t done a lot this year, and on the surface, all I’ve done is attend online classes and work in a warehouse, as well as having dilemmas about things and not knowing what to do next. That’s basically been my year in a nutshell. Oh, that, and the second year of a raging pandemic (I just hope it dies down next year). This is basically the mother of all reflections (recursive and infinite mirrored room, here I come).
However, there are a bunch of other things I did this year. First off, I created my own portfolio from scratch. It currently isn’t much, but it’s honest work. It’s basically a list of things that I’ve done as well as a few interactive pieces, but at least I can say that I built it on my own without having to rely on some templated website builder to do it for me, because I’ve done that in the past, and I find it extremely stifling as well as extremely boring to use some website builder (at this point, I may as well post everything onto Instagram, amongst all the targeted ads and whatnot). In fact, creating my own website from scratch has essentially become my whole entire philosophy, so much that throughout the year, I’ve created a huge are.na board with over 4000 things on it, so this whole thing is a fairly big deal.
I also got a job, my first real job, this year. Again, it isn’t glamorous, but at least I’ve got a job, as well as getting money and work experience, which are both very important things. I’m also surprised at how long I’ve had it for, given the fact that I started it at the start of May, and only expected to be around for a month, for all of summer at most (which almost happened since I handed in my notice in August, only to come back to it at the end of that month but working part time instead, which I find is much better). In short, pulling 12 hour shifts all summer long is absolutely brutal and I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy. Let’s just hope that this doesn’t end up being the only job that I have for life, because ideally I’d also like to move on, but for now, this job will do.
Another thing that I’ve struggled to process is the fact that I’m no longer a teenager, and that I’m now a 20-something. I had my 20th birthday in the middle of June (as I do every year, because that’s how birthdays work), and I still haven’t processed the fact that I’m 20 because in my mind, I still think that I’m 17, sometimes 10, and other times 40, mainly all the same time. I think I need to make a big fuss about my birthdays in order for me to well and truly process how old I am. Maybe it’s just me getting older, or maybe it’s just this strange old pandemic removing all sense of time, especially now that I’ve spent most of the year working from home (by having no choice as well as choosing to work from home because it’s easier to do although I’d like to rejoin the real world at some point).
I also started a placement year, and so far, I haven’t done as much as I would have liked to have done, but it’s something. It’s a start, and at least I’m getting all that important work experience for something that I actually want to do, despite me getting into dilemmas about things, taking detours, and not knowing what it is that I actually well and truly want to do, but I guess it’s all a part of the process, and you don’t know until you actually do it, although sometimes, I have doubted this choice, mainly with imposter syndrome as well as wondering what it would have been like if I just went straight into the final year instead, but I guess it’s better an oops than a what if, and also because doing a placement year will hopefully add to my CV. Now, I just hope that I actually get to start my business in the new year, especially now that I’ve done as much research as I possibly can.
So, that’s pretty much been my 2021 this year. Fairly unremarkable, but it’s something, and it’s practically impossible to write a very detailed review of the year, so I’ve mainly stuck with the highlights instead. I’m also entering the new year with little to no expectations, because look at how the past 2 years turned out to be, so I won’t hold my breath by trying to plan anything because the one thing that the pandemic has taught me is that you cannot over plan anything and that it’s okay to sometimes go with the flow since it could turn out to be better than you expected.
For the new year, all I want to do is just launch this damn business already, as well as making my ideas real, mainly by launching them into the real world. That, and to avoid unnecessary dilemmas (as well as overthinking) as much as possible, maybe also to avoid being so hard on myself as well.
So, that’s it, and this is 2021 signing out.